Ok, buckle up readers! Having enjoyed a fabulous all-inclusive break at the stunning Creta Palace in Rethymno last October (shout our to Mr Yiannis for spoiling us with the best breads and calamari ever!), we felt it was worth aiming for a similar experience this October and selected the Princess Adriana on the basis it was described by Jet2 as a "5 star luxe". How wrong we were! The good: *The temperature - while cooler in the morning and evening, the sun definitely felt warmer between 11-2 than Crete, so it was lovely to top up our vitamin D levels before winter *The Cretian massage - yes I know I was in Rhodes but this massage was one of the best I have ever had and the wonderful massuse clearly cared about her craft *The omlettes in the morning - so yummy *The range of desserts - Greek and pretty much everything else! *The Italian restaurant - I really enjoyed my squid ink risotto *Playing volleyball - we had an impromptu match with some lovely people *Snorkelling on the beach - we saw unique fish and really enjoyed swimming amongst them *The repair man - when our air con created an indoor pool, he came out to sort it within a couple of hours *The patience of the waiting staff when I tried out my basic Greek :) The bad *Trying to play ping pong - they had one table that seemed to be permanently busy, maybe there was a secret handshake I had missed?! *Booking tennis - given they had a single court it was extremely hard to book a time to play and when you did manage that, the rackets were damaged and the balls were clearly old and not very bouncy *Booking a restaurant - given you need to book a week in advance, that meant we literally had to panic book everything on the first day so we didn't miss out - how do I know what I want to do when I have just arrived? If you are there for only 7 days I have no idea how you navigate that?! *Trying to get a drink in the Moonlight bar - there was only the two of us sat there but could we get a glass of prosecco? NOPE! They left us sat for 15 mins without even acknowledging us *Service in the Moonlight Restaurant - yes, there are three of us and yes, you have given us a table for five by mistake but gosh the look I got when I suggested I'd like a smaller, more intimate table! Oh and serving the courses in such quick succession meant it was less of an experience and more of a time trial :) *The drinks on offer at the beach bar - no diet coke or substitute and by the end of the break no diet sprite either so your drinks choice became water, alcohol or sugary cocktails. Oh and if you want a frappe coffee, it was water in coffee granules! *Playing boules - this seemed to be permanently locked away - perhaps another secret handshake was required? *The main dining area - felt more like a school canteen (again see Creta Palace on how to do this well) plates were snatched up literally as you were chewing your final mouthful and plonked down so all you could hear was the clinking and eating felt like a race to clear your plate rather than a relaxed dining experience *The music - if I hear Abba blasted out again... This was a wasted opportunity in all places from the Moonlight restaurant to the beach bar and main dining area because if you really are a 5*, you know that we don't want to be hearing Guns and Roses at dinner *The mini bar - lots of sugary drinks and some water but this was only topped up every other day. As a 5* I expect you will leave me more than one tiny bottle of water to last me two days The downright ugly *That cold pool - it really shouldn't be colder than the sea *The smell - it seemed to be worse on the balcony from late afternoon onwards - blocked drains doesn't really capture it *The extra charge for having a slightly later check out - we knew the hotel was practically empty but it was still too much for you to consider letting us have the room for a little longer despite our late flight, unless we willing to pay an extra 200E *The attitude of a couple of members of staff - I dared to ask for a 'proper' Greek iced coffee before 10am and was greeted with a grunt *The crowded pool area - your towel marks your spot and it was so slippery! I lost count of how many people fell over (definitely go to the beach!) *The lack of emphasis on Greek food - yes you could get a gyros at the beach bar and souvlaki in the main dining hall but why would you not have a Greek restaurant in a Greek hotel?! In short, having visited so many other parts of authentic Greece, we will not be returning. If your idea of an all inc is piling your plate with volume and you don't really care about where you are, this is the place for you!